Don't Be Platin'
Posts tagged neighbors
No Vacancy
Aug 20th
As predicted, the freedom I had from not having neighbors is no more. A new tenant has moved in. I am a bit upset over it. I enjoyed the freedom from the Lazy Laundriers. I didn’t get much time to enjoy it. I never got to fall in love with a laundry room all to myself. Sure I had it all alone for a few weeks but the love I had to offer it wasn’t there. I liked it. I hadn’t moved on to the love step of the relationship. I was ready. I really was. But now, that is no more. I will have to share it with complete strangers. How I hate strangers. They are bad people. When I was little, we had a code word. If someone ever claimed to know a family member and came knocking on our door, they had to know the code word to have us open the door. I was just a small child when we my sister created the word. We never used it. That’s a good thing. I guess. I mean, I was never kidnapped. No strangers ever came knocking. Only people that ever did, were those damn Mormons.
[Translate] More >
Deal With The Devil: The Fall Of The Lazy Laundriers
Jul 27th
You all know the tale of the Lazy Laundriers. These two wretched people were a burden on my existence. A few days ago, I was outside smoking when I noticed the LL’s car door was ajar. (when is a door not a door? When it’s ajar). I could have been the kind neighbor and relayed the message to them but I didn’t. Before the angel on my right (or is it left) shoulder could tell me to tell them, the male LL came out of the apartment with a box. First thing I thought of was, “Holy Laundry, Batman! They’re moving!” He packed the box, closed the door, and went back indoors. Moments later, he returned to the car with yet another box. The angels were singing, God was smiling on me that day. A dream I had since the first day these two came a part of my life was finally coming true. I wonder why they moved out? There could be many reasons. Maybe their lease was up. Maybe they were evicted for not paying rent. Or maybe it was something else. And I know why. (more…)
[Translate]
Carlos Visited Me
Jul 12th
I have lived in a few different apartments. I have had my share of misfortunes. I’ve had the crappy neighbors. I’ve had a spider infestations. I’ve been robbed. All that is nothing compared to the hell I am going through now. I live above an asshole of a man named, Carlos. He’s stubborn as a mule. I joked that he was a ghost. I said how the Dead Zombie Wife murdered him one night. I have yet to ever meet this man. I have lived here for 4 months. In these 4 short months, I still haven’t seen him. Not even once. It only leads me to believe that he really is a ghost. I already know Claudia (Dead Zombie Wife) is real. I’ve heard her a few times and even had her visit me once in my dreams.
[Translate]
Loading ...
English
Last
Twitter
Facebook
Youtube
Digg
StumbleUpon
